INBOX for Consignment

[panzerung]

braun.reiner@cdc.org
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[panzerung]

<span style="font-family:courier;>it isn't my business</span> <small>[He's deliberately not answering that question, but Annie's his only reason for living right now.]</small>

[wordsthatkill]

Well, if you say so. But I'm sure Annie understood.

seizures quietly at html fail

[panzerung]

she does

shh

[wordsthatkill]

Maybe you will, too.

Enjoy wallowing in your self pity.

[ like he is one to talk, but... he's not sure what else he can say when someone is this defensive. ]

[panzerung]

fuck you

so you know annie

that doesn't mean shit. and it doesn't mean i can trust you.

[wordsthatkill]

Then don't.

All I do is offer. I'm not your enemy.

[panzerung]

how do i know that?

bertolt's dead and i couldn't save him

i didn't even go outside like everyone else

[wordsthatkill]

It wasn't your fault.

I was there. Right there. I saw how he got ripped apart. There was nothing I could do.

You think you're the only one who's angry?

[panzerung]

you saw it?

you saw him die?

[wordsthatkill]

Yes. Together with Eren.

[panzerung]

[Eren. The one that should have died instead of Bertolt. He resists the urge to scream, to hit something--to do whatever he can to express the pain he's feeling in that moment.]

he wasn't your comrade

he wasn't your best friend

[wordsthatkill]

my entire unit was wiped out right in front of my eyes before i came here.

three hundred men and women. dead.

my home. destroyed.

so don't act like youre the only one in pain here.

bertolt and sasha were as much my comrades as they were yours. the same goes for annie. the same goes for you.

[panzerung]

would you be my comrade if you know what i've done

what i am

bertolt and annie

they're the only ones who understood

[wordsthatkill]

is that so hard to believe?

[panzerung]

i wouldn't want to be my comrade

i'm the bad guy

[wordsthatkill]

so am i.

it's all relative, reiner. our enemies are always relative. todays good might be tomorrows evil, and vice versa. whatever you did, you did it for a reason.

[panzerung]

[There's silence for a long, long while.]

thousands and thousands of people are dead because of me

[It's not a competition. He's just... never really outright told someone this information before.]

[wordsthatkill]

so?

[panzerung]

they were innocent

i had to do it

but that doesn't feel like a good enough reason sometimes

[wordsthatkill]

it doesnt matter to me, reiner. if you say you had to do it, then i believe you.

i know too little about your world and the circumstances to judge.

[panzerung]

[He believes him? Just like that? Reiner doesn't know how to respond. It's a little strange.]

i'm a traitor. like annie.

we work together. no one knew.

[wordsthatkill]

what point are you trying to make?

[panzerung]

i have to protect her.

since bertolt's

i need to be strong enough to keep her safe

[wordsthatkill]

annie is strong. she'll be fine.

i wont tolerate petty grudges around here. dont worry.

[panzerung]

i want to trust you

[He just isn't sure if he can.]